This is dedicated to all of my family, Jonathan Larson, and my friends who have a bond with me that’s thicker that blood. "No day but today."-Jonathan Larson
Winter December 2007
I’ve decided that today is the beginning of my new life. I know it’s the middle of school, but now I know what I want. I want to fall in love. I want to become physically and emotionally stronger. I want to cherish every second I have to live on Earth. This is the year that something big WILL happen to me! I can feel it! Something huge! Something good...I hope.
(Everyone’s At It by Lily Allen plays in the background) I prayed at the mini temple I made with tons of memorable objects, and a glass box in the middle with a red velvet pillow in it, prepared for a piece of jewelry, reminding me of my lover. I haven’t had a crush since I was 4, when I had a crush on my cousin who was seven. I never wanted to go through that ever again, thinking everyone was a blood relative of me. I lit my birthday candle from when I turned 10, and whispered to the last sinking sun of 2007 outside my window,"Dear ancestors, please give me love with a boy that isn’t a relative of mine. Please give me a great year to look forward to. Take care of yourselves and my living family, please." Right when I opened my eyes, I could’ve sworn, I saw a star shoot across the sky. Then, a breeze blew my long, ebony hair into a swirl, and I tripped to my bed and fell asleep.
Once I was in a deep sleep, I was in space. A small star flew into my hands, and I realized I was breathing in space without an oxygen tank.
The star whispered in a small voice,"Your prayer was answered by your ancestors. The path is set, Hana. All you have to do now is walk the path of the year. There are no boundaries, Hana. Take chances. Be yourself and do everything you long to do, and you’ll have nothing to fear, Hana!"
"How do you know my real name? Why am I here? I don’t take chances! There must be some mistake, because I can’t do any of that!" I shivered from the cold. My skirt and hair fluttered.
"Yes you can! Your love is near, you just have to take the first step! Fame awaits, you just have to shine! The person you are destined to be is so close, you just have to be yourself, Hana! Never forget that!"
When I woke up, the star’s voice giggled, "This is your year! You have a lot to do! Make haste, Hana-chan!"
January 2008
Glancing at the first rising sun of 2008, I rushed to get ready for the New Year festival. I tripped over my school bag to meet face-to-face with a small paper bag filled with clothes I didn’t remember getting. I scurried to the bathroom with the paper bag. I then showered and dried my hair in curls. I decided to make a huge bun and stick two short, red fake roses into the bun. I spread some cherry chap stick and pink lip gloss across my lips and put on the clothes from the bag. There was a deep red, ruffled, silky blouse, a black skirt that cut off right before the knee, three black, chain necklaces, one with a black locket, and red Mary Jane shoes that I slid on downstairs. By the time it was 6:30, I grabbed my red tote bag with black flowers, and hurried out the door, hoping my parents didn’t wake up yet. I thought I’d call the house once I got to the festival. After all, it was a school field trip, and my parents both worked, so I dropped off Amy to her preschool while I rushed to Rosa Parks School. (Author’s Note: There isn’t an actual Rosa Parks School in New York, New York!) Damn, why did I choose to wear these things, anyway?! I thought. Being the clumsy person I am, I tripped. Even worse, I tripped into "Roger" Garret Ezo’s arms! He has been my best friend since 3rd grade! (That’s when I realized I could become friends with a guy and not date them.) Roger turned red a little, and since that’s usually hard to pick up on, being so tan already, the school must’ve witnessed me falling into Roger’s arms so awkwardly, yet romantically. Wait! What am I saying?! Scratch that!!! Back to what I was writing. I felt myself burn to a crimson as Roger propped me to the sidewalk. "Mimi" Leah Marquez , Mark "Cohen" Baker, Miko "Alexi" Darin, Angela "Dumat" Schunard, Riley "Maureen" Johnson, and Tom "Collins" Taylor rushed to us, asking us the same question, "Are you guys gonna be okay for today?" I nodded my head "Yes", and Garret Ezo said,"Hell, yeah! Why would you think otherwise!? I’m dating Leah- I mean Mimi, right?! You gonna be alright, Jojo?"
"Of course!", I replied. Yes, they think my real name is Joanne Haruka, but it’s Hana Haruka. I’ve lied to them about that for a while now, but only because they would be so disappointed that my name isn’t something from Rent. I mean, I love Rent, but my name isn’t relevant to the musical at all. Miko’s name isn’t a main character’s name, so we’re trying to find a Rent-head that would like to be a second Roger, so Miko could be a second Mimi. They’re also trying to find a Taye Diggs, so I’d be Idina Menzel, since they marry by the time they make the movie version of Rent.
Anyway, back to the festival.
We all played games and the "couples" did couple-ish things, as Miko and I did best-buddies-ish things, secretly envying the couples. The festival passed time quickly, and before we knew it, were on our way to the White House! I hope the next president is WAY better than Bush! Maybe that senator from Hawaii that was on The View or something. He seems like a good president. Barrack Obama is his name, I think. If only I was old enough to vote!
On the bus, we assembled into groups of four. Garret Roger ended up to be sitting next to me, Miko "Alexi" Darin was next to Mark, Angela was next to Riley, and Tom was next to Leah "Mimi" Marquez.
On the way to Washington, D.C., I attempted to start a conversation with "Roger", knowing how unsociable and remote he is. When asking him questions, it sounded as if he was as serious as ever, with his silent voice, so musical, he murmured each answer. Although, I was longing to ask him about his love life. The little star’s voice giggled out of nowhere, and I blurted,"So, Roger, are you and Leah-er Mimi having sparks?"
"I guess," he muttered.
"Is there something wrong," I asked, concerned.
"Uh...well, I shouldn’t really say this, but she’s been really clingy, lately," he whispered," ...Forget I said anything."
"Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me," I whispered back, my pointing finger in front of my smiling lips.
I inconspicuously looked around the bus, trying to find out what Leah was doing. I suddenly felt my heart pounce as I saw her face only a hand width away from Mark’s face (I guess they moved seats). Both of them were smiling, while leaning in closer and closer. I turned my head, knowing their next move. I was asking myself if I should tell "Roger" about this. I kept my mouth shut about it, to Garret Roger at least. I told Miko, who then saddened, since she developed a crush on Mark. I tried to comforted her with kind words, half truth, half-stretched truth. She faked a smile at me, trying to not darken her aura. Once we got to D.C., we were split into our History classes. I was in Miko and Angela’s history class, Roger was in Tom’s history class, and Mark and Mimi were in the same class. Riley wasn’t in anyone’s history class, sadly. We all had our cell phones handy, so we had the ability to text each other, as long as we weren’t caught.
Miko promised not to tell anyone about the Mark and Leah thing, but I told her she could tell Angela, Riley, and Tom. Knowing her, she’d probably just not even mention Mark or Mimi I thought. My predictions were correct. I told Angela, and she said,"I always thought there was something between them! Miko, are you gonna be all right, sweetie? (Miko: Nodded her head yes) Okay, but if you need to talk to anyone about it, you know we’re here! I wonder how Roger’s gonna take it when he finds out."
"She’d so be in for it! You know how Garret- I mean Roger is with honesty (and segregation)! You won’t tell him, Angela, will you?" I mouthed, knowing our history teacher, Mrs. Griffin, was up front, telling us not to get lost.
"Of course not, honey! Roger would’ve killed me 2, then!" Angela texted me. I chuckled.
I texted Tom, asking if Mr. Windlowe was telling them not to get lost, too. Tom texted,"You’re getting it, 2?" I texted "Yes Ima text Roger about something." I then texted Roger,"How’re u & Tom taking Mr. W’s speech about safety?"
"It’s retarded, but we’ll survive." Roger texted. "Lol"I texted. We texted a conversation until the speech was over. Then, my class climbed the 365 steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
Riley texted me."Hey! I want 2 introduce u 2 my new friend, Jonathan ‘Larson’ Maroon!" it read. Then, a picture popped up.
It was of a Caucasian guy with red hair, flowing into a small waterfall of red down to his shoulders, and hazel eyes. He wore a black, cotton t-shirt with "RENT" spray painted on the shirt with white clothes paint, small hoop earrings of sterling silver, and a choker with silver spikes. He had a serious look on his face, except for the right side of his mouth, which was raised a little.
"Hey, Miko, Angela, check this guy out," I elbowed lightly "Do you think he’d be a good member?"
"Ooh, yeah! It looks to me that Miko approves," Angela teased. Miko just blushed, growing a smile as she looked deeply into the pixels of my new Dare from Verison.
"Is he single? My buddy Miko would wanna know! (That’s her) " I texted with a picture of Miko attached.
"He says ‘she’s really pretty. How old?’" Riley texted.
"She says 14." I fibbed.
"He says ‘I’m 14, 2! We should meet up sometime!’ Miko, he’s SO into u!" Riley replied. Miko started giggling and blushing.
We didn’t get any communication from Leah or Mark, unfortunately. They must really be hitting it off.
The sun was at high noon, and yet the clouds were hiding the sun, taunting us with its snow- filled fluff. The sky was a soft, creamy gray. There was a crisp, cool breeze that continued as nature’s nonstop air conditioning. Although it was cold, almost to the point of freezing, I liked the cold. It woke me up from my deep thoughts of the sparkle that called itself a star. Everyone in my class was walking about the Washington Memorial, talking mostly about the Winter Formal that will be hosted at the Multiple Purpose Room on February 1st. Then after that, we’ll be having the Valentine’s Day dance on the 15th, since the school wouldn’t want to deal with sleepy-dozed kids the next day. I sat on a bench throughout most of the free period, until Roger’s text message vibrated my phone.
"Did u kno about this, Jo?!" Roger texted.
"About what?" I asked, confused.
"ABOUT MIMI & MARK!!!!" He shrieked in his text.
"O. No, r they really?" I lied through my fingertips.
"Y! I just saw Leah & Mark frenching behind a tree near the Washington M.!!!! Where r u?" Roger must’ve been really pissed; he never answers any questions that don’t relate to school in text.
"I’m on a bench. Where r u?" I replied, my face flushing.
"Look behind u," Roger’s next text read. I twitched my head behind the bench, and there he was, his face was furious, and Mimi’s wrist on his left hand, and Mark’s wrist on Roger’s right hand.
Mimi pleaded,"You don’t understand, Roger! If I could just explain-"
"How could you explain this, Mimi?! You cheated on me! How can you explain that?!" Roger roared. From his eyes, I could tell that fury was only the surface of his mind’s thoughts. His eyes telegraphed sadness, shock, envy, disappointment, and betrayal were a few of the messages in Roger’s eyes. My heart sank, seeing him in such despair, hiding it with anger.
"But... you just don’t understand!" Mimi cried, turning her face, holding back tears.
"Mimi....I guess we shouldn’t have...," Mark whispered to the cold, hard breeze that blew through to our spines.
"Mimi...I’m sorry for being so pissed, but why did you do that?" Roger spoke in a softened tone.
"W-well....I d-don’t know i-if I could t-t-tell you o-or not,"Mimi stuttered, still facing away from Roger, leaking tears from her closed-shut eyes.
"You can tell me, Mimi. It’s okay,"Roger paced.
"N-no! I-I can’t tell you, I-I’m sorry, b-but it’s hard to e-explain,"Mimi finally spit the words out. She then opened her eyes as tears flooded and color drowned from her face. Mimi wept, but no one else noticed but me, so I got out of my sitting position on the frozen bench and hugged her. Mimi sobbed on my black coat, and Roger loosened his grip, ashamed of what he did.
"There, there, Mimi. Everything will be okay,"I sang in a warm, pianissimo tone. I felt her shivering, spilling out all of her stress and sadness.
Angela and Miko ran over once they saw Mimi’s red-nosed face, soaked with salty tears.
"You all right, Mi-chan?"Angela asked in here sweet, cherry-lollipop voice.
Leah raised her head from my shoulder; She nodded.
I saw Roger spacing out at the flag pole nearby, letting his black hair freeze, his hands in his Levi jean pockets, and his scarf, riding the wind. Mark stared at the ground, self-consciously, and shivered, his glasses fogging into two circles of pure white.
Miko asked what happened, and Mimi explained everything that happened in detail, like when she narrates a story by heart, the words are given a new life, creating a film in your mind, following the story with her voice of vivid description.
I approached Roger cautiously, and patted his shoulder. He instinctively twisted his whole body towards me before I tapped a second time.
"I just wanted to see if you were okay,"I replied to his movement.
His head turned to the flagpole,"I just don’t understand why she didn’t tell me."
"It’s not over, you know. She’s crying because she thinks you hate her,"I put my hand out to give him a second chance at his relationship with Mimi. (Seasons of Love begins to play)
Instead of taking my hand, he hugged me and I could’ve sworn, I felt a warm tear fall onto my hand. I patted his back, and we walked over to Mimi, hand in hand. The girls watched us walk towards them in awe. Angela told me later that Roger and I looked as if we were "fresh out of the altar".
"Seriously?!" I asked out of shock
"Of course!"
"You always have, Joanne," Miko added shyly.
"But it’s not like that!" I started unconsciously waving my hands in the air, signifying denying of any accusations.
"Oh, come off it, Jojo!" Angela laughed, "You two are SO gonna be together!"
I blushed and began asking all of these "What-ifs", and Angela threw all of those "What-ifs" right back at me!
